Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Write on Wednesdays with Soozy Says Stuff

Okay, so it's not due for release or anything cool like that...but it's a work in progress. From my own brain, as yet, untitled:

She gingerly touched a finger to her cheekbone just below her left eye. The ice had kept some of the swelling down, but it still ached and throbbed with a pulse of its own. She didn’t dare look in the mirror. The look on Caleb’s face told her all she needed to know.

She was vaguely aware of the sliding glass door opening and closing behind her. He tried to walk softly but she knew it was him by the sound of his boots on the boards. 

He stopped beside her and just stood there for a moment, as if unsure about what to do next. She got the feeling that dealing with women in tears was not one of Chance’s strong points. So, when he simply lifted her up and slid her onto his lap and into his arms, she melted into them. He let her bury her face in his chest and just sat there with her. She could tell he wanted to say something – maybe he didn’t know what to say or maybe he just didn’t want to say the wrong thing. As always, he seemed to just know what she needed when she needed it……and just gave it to her.

And from my current read by an Actual Real Life Writer.....Stieg Larsson's The Girl With The Dragon Tatoo:

It happened every year, was almost a ritual. And this was his eighty-second birthday. When, as usual, the flower was delivered, he took off the wrapping paper and then picked up the telephone to call Detective Superintendent Morell who, when he retired, had moved to Lake Siljan in Dalarna. They were not only the same age, they had been born on the same say - which was something of an irony under the circumstances. The old policeman was sitting with his coffee, waiting, expecting the call.

I have to say, I'm having a little trouble really getting into this one. I like to read books BEFORE I watch the movie because the book is inevitably better than the movie. And I really want to see this movie...the trailers look quite interesting and Daniel Craig...well, enough said!

Happy Write On Wednesday everyone!

Monday, December 12, 2011

I've Figured Out the MANswer!

For no other reason I can think of besides needing some noise in the background while going about the business of my evening - cleaning, cooking, bathing children and sending them off to bed, surfing the internet for .... well let't just leave it at surfing the internet - I had the TV on Spike TV and MANswers was on.

I am simultaneously disgusted and amused and even - once in a while - laugh out loud entertained by this show. This particular evening was all about "boobage" and what can and cannot be accomplished with them.

The question of the hour was how big can the boobs be in order to be the perfect handful? According to some very, VERY scientific findings, the perfect handful of breasteses would be a C cup. Although, if those young ladies were C cups, then I must be freakin' Dolly Parton!

Also, in order to screw in a lightbulb with your knockers - should you find yourself in the dark with your hands duct taped behind your back - you would need to be a least a D cup. Whew! What a relief to know that I could handle that obstacle!

Maybe this is why the under 30 men-people are so stupid! They watch MANswers and their IQ drops at least 10 points with each answer they get!

Sunday, December 11, 2011



1.  Tomorrow I'm going to _________?

Get my kiddos off to school and then bake my butt off!! The Holiday season is short, but furiously busy for me!!

2.  Pudding or Jello?

That depends on what we are doing with the pudding or the jello. To eat, pudding - it's creamy and comforting and Butterscotch is my favorite. For wrestling, definitely Jell-O.

3.  What book are you currently reading? 

The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and Bag of Bones.

4.  What is the first concert you went to see?

Joan Jett and the Blackhearts at Northern Montana College (now MSU-Northern). She was and still is freakin' awesome!! I dig the chicks that ROCK!

5.  What is your current weather?

Cold, but not intolerable. And there's no snow yet which is kinda weird. Soon enough though, soon enough.

Want to play along???? Follow the linky for the instructions....

Christmas Party......Community Corrections Style

This weekend, the little dudes, my step-daughter, and I spent some time in Great Falls visiting the Former Supposed Spouse. He has been released from the State Prison and is now residing in a Transition Center. This is a much MUCH improved situation. He's happier. We're happier. All in all it's a good thing.

But make no mistake, this is a Secure Facility. I would have liked to have taken pictures of my children running up to get their presents, but, The Rules do not allow cell phones inside The Facility. The kids didn't care - when their dad's name was called out, the hollered and cheered and clapped and when their names were called the ran full speed to the front of the room to claim their prizes. After the presents were distributed, we went to the dining room for cookies and snacks and juice and coffee. It was nice. The FSS had purchased two football uniforms from Scheel's - one Steelers and one Vikings - for each of the dudes....

And they immediately ripped them out of the boxes and put them on over their clothes and ran amok (well, as amok as was tolerated in a Secure Facility) around the joint. They were the stars of the show. And I'm so glad they had fun.

We also got to spend some time outside of the Secure Facility. For 12 hours at a time, we are allowed to go to up to four places so we got to do some Christmas shopping, have a nice dinner together and play in the pool at the hotel, lay around and watch t.v. and just kind of almost be a normal family again. It was nice.

I would also like to give a great big shout-out kind of thank you to the local businesses who donated presents for the kids. They were all awesome and they were all a giant hit!

Oh yeah, And......

.....I promise I will post something more positive tomorrow. It was an awesome day in the Falls with the dudes and the Girl. Yes, and the Former Supposed Spouse.

So yes - positive thoughts tomorrow.

Regardless of what Tiny Little TROLL BOY has to say!

Trolls......FUCK 'em!!

I love Trolls. 

They think they Bother Me. 

They think they will Get Under My Skin and fester there like the proverbial thorn in the lion's paw. 

They think the words they fling at me ANONYMOUSLY can somehow hurt me and make me retreat into my Bitch Cave and collapse there in a quivering heap because **GASP**

Someone Doesn't Like Me!! 
(Sarcasm. That was sarcasm in case you didn't notice. How I wish there was an app for that!!)

For those of you who don't know what a Troll is, let me define it for you....

Troll: A dumbass who makes idiotic posts in message boards or newsgroups for the sole purpose of pissing people off, often lacking in intelligence. Sometimes compared to people who pass you by on the the sidewalk then grab you in inappropriate places.

I guess have one of these now.

I find it amusing - in fact, downright fucking hilarious. I look forward with anticipation to see what utterly unoriginal way this ass hat is gonna try and put me in my place. 

And much as this idiot would apparently like me to, I am NOT losing any sleep over it. I'm not angry about it - I laughed my mother-effing ASS off over the latest flame he posted.

Bitch, PLEASE!

You will not now, nor will you EVER make me feel inferior for who I am - A Damn Fine All-Fucking-American BITCH! I know I am a bitch, and yeah, probably some would even call me a whore - and that's just fucking FABULOUS! 

My choices, my actions, my relationships, my successes, my failures, my loves, my losses, my thoughts, my dreams, even my fears - are MINE. They make me who I am today. It's okay that you don't like me. You don't have to. That's the beauty of living in America - you can shout your opinion as loudly and as stupidly as you want. And, I can shout mine back just as fucking loudly and a helluva lot smarter than you.

But the one thing you will never get me to do is APOLOGIZE for who and what I am.

So........BRING IT, BI-OTCH! I put my on Big-Girl Panties and eat my Bitchy O's every day. 

I can fucking take it!

Friday, December 9, 2011

Slammed by Some Very Bitter Spam!

I always get excited when I see I have comments to my posts. It makes my day a little brighter because I know that someone has taken the time to read what I have written, identify with it, and give me enough time to say something. It kinda rocks! And really, truly, makes my day.

So, imagine my surprise when I opened up my comments and found THIS drivel....

I won't re-post it - it's a solicitation and I refuse to subject anyone else to that nonsense. Examine the link if you want. I thought it kinda funny and kinda sad at the same time.

I know people - several people in fact - who put so much time and energy into being miserable that there is no room for AN-Y-THING else in their lives. It matters not what the topic of conversation might be, there is always something bad, or wrong, or evil or stupid about it. There's always a reason to avoid it because it's going to F things up.'

And I feel sorry for those people. They have seriously lost the ability to be joyful about anything anymore. No one should have to live like that. And the fact that they seem to choose to - in fact revel in - walking around under a black cloud all the time just, well, it just astounds me.

And then there's this guy with his rant against us spoiled, cheating, mentally unstable, irresponsible blah blah blah de effing blah American women. As an American woman, I take offense to this. And truly do feel sorry for him because what kind of Hell on Heels must have done a number on him??!

So I'm inclined to leave his comment on my page, even though it is spam, and just pray for him.

Do you hear me Mr. Anonymous aka John Rambo?? I'm saying a frickin' prayer for you and hope that you find your dream girl. I'm thinking us American whoers wouldn't want you either!

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Christmassy Feeling.....

These last two Chrsitmases have been exceptionally hard. The Former Supposed Spouse missed last year and will miss this year as well. Lately I have been feeling more keenly aware of his absence than ever. I'm not sure if that's just because it's coming on Christmas, or because .... I just miss him. Or maybe a combination of the two. At any rate, instead of feeling all excited and expectant and happy, I'm feeling all melancholy and I really hate that.

I did manage to get something accomplished today......

Crumkake - A Norwegian Christmas Treat

For those of you who don't know, these are one of the pain-in-the-ass Norwegian goodies that I make every year. Why do I make them if they are such a pain-in-the-ass? Well, one, because they are really Really GOOD and b) people pay me to because they are such a pain-in-the-ass. And they are really Really GOOD! And even if they are a hassle to make, they were one of the first things my grandmother taught me to make along with lefse, fattigmand, rosettes and sandbakkles. (All gigantic pains-in-the-ass to make.)

It's Tradition. And tradition is important.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Super Complicated & Spectacular

I read the best quote this morning on Facebook:

"Women are super complicated and a Rubik's cube loaded with C-4: One wrong twist, and your head gets blown off!"  

And, by the way, if you would like to laugh more (at yourself, other people, life in general) this chick is one funny bitch!

Spectacular - I like that. "marked by or given to an impressive, large-scale display; dramatically daring or thrilling." Note, it doesn't say anything about a pleasant display - only that it's big and dramatic. I can do that. I like to throw things. Or slam doors. Or cupboards. Until I can elicit some kind of response and THEN let loose with all the minor annoyances that now have built up into a Great Big Shit Storm.

And complicated - "composed of elaborately interconnected parts; complex. Difficult to analyze, understand or explain."

Yeah, sometimes I don't even get me. A thing that bothered me yesterday, may not be a big deal today. And, the thing that was no big deal 5 minutes ago might now be the next Great Big Shit Storm.

Honestly, I sometimes Do Not know how the people in my life live with me. And generally I only come to this realization AFTER the GBSS has come and gone. I have a moment to reflect and think to myself, "Wow. That was a bitchy thing to say. Perhaps I should apologize for that."

And I'm really quite distracted today. I'm sitting here on the sofa with the lap-top looking out the window. It's snowing - the kind of snow that just floats down from the sky and let's you catch flakes on your tongue. The wind isn't howling for a change and it's not a lot of snow......but it's very pretty. It's ALMOST putting me in the mood to do something Christmasy.


Monday, December 5, 2011

MOVE......that body!

So, one of my favorite songs lately happens to be Nelly's "Move That Body."

It's on my MP3 playlist that I listen to when I take my walk every morning. I'm sure the people in the neighborhood have decided that I'm off my rocker because I just CAN-NOT not sing along. With the headphones in. Full blast. So I can't hear myself. I can just hear comes that nut in the Steelers sweatshirt who sings out loud.....quite a sight I'm sure!

I have long resisted the idea that exercising was going to do me any good. In the past, attempts at it only caused me more pain. But, since the last time I was at the good Doctor's office, the number on the scale had climbed yet again, I decided it was time to do something. 

So, instead of going back to bed in the morning when the dudes go to school, I go for a walk. It's not much, but it's a start. And even though I was a little stiff and sore the first couple of days, now, I really do feel a little better. I sleep better at night - probably mostly because I'm not sleeping all day. Go figure! It's amazing what you can accomplish when you are awake and alive with the rest of the world!

So, now, all I want for Christmas? Zumba for Wii. And a gym membership. (7 degrees is just a little chillier than I like to be outside in!) And a Jared Allen jersey.