Yes, he has betrayed me. By his own actions, he has deserted me. He keeps telling me it wasn't his choice, that he doesn't WANT to be where he is at. It was the cops, his probation officer, the judge, his mother. Yes, even his mother because if he hadn't had to go over to her house and take care of her, then he wouldn't have been driving.
But that's not really true. He was headed to her house the night he was arrested. However, he CHOSE to stop at the bar first. He CHOSE to start drinking again long before that night. He CHOSE to drive even though he wasn't allowed to do so without the ignition interlock device required by the court.
And we all need him in some form. His ex-wife and his mother are both disabled and need his help physically. I am in limbo while Social Security tries to decide whether or not I am disabled enough to receive benefits. He was my sole source of income.
He made CHOICES that got him where he is at today. They are an endless list of broken promises.
I made my OWN choices that got me here, as well. I CHOSE to let him come home again and again. I CHOSE to believe the empty promises. I CHOSE to turn myself upside down and inside out in an effort to "save" him. But he didn't want to be saved - didn't think he needed to be saved. And even if he did, I CANNOT do it for him.
I think maybe we've betrayed each other. And I'm not sure if that can be fixed. I'm not sure I want to fix it if it can.