Saturday, September 18, 2010

Stupid Shit and Simple Joys

As promised, there is more stupid shit!

Stupid Shit Thing #3: Court Shows on TV

Judge Judy. Judge Mathis. Judge Pirro. Judge Alex. Judge Joe Brown. The Peoples' Court. Divorce Court. And now, Swift Justice with Nancy Grace.

Setting aside the fact the I find Ms. Grace even more obnoxious than Judy, do we really need another court show? Really?

I think not.

Judge Pirro: Did you know that in some states an engagement ring is considered a "conditional gift?" It's yours on the condition that you marry the guy. If you don't marry the jack-ass, you are required by law to return it. Not pawn it. Not throw it away. Not stick it in a drawer and lie about having lost it. AND, if you are really dumb enough to buy your gold-digger girlfriend Brazilian butt implants, don't count on getting your money back. She doesn't have it. That's why she's a gold-digger.

Go figure.

Judge Mathis: "Dope fiend" dad won't pay his child support. REALLY? You're KIDDING?

Oh and this was the best nugget of the day: "It ain't hearsay if YOU tell her about it!!"

Moral of the story, if you don't want your ex-wife to know that you are snorting coke and shooting heroin with your mother while your son is spending the weekend with you, DON'T TELL HER!!

It's like watching a train wreck. You can see it coming. You know it's going to be horrific. You're powerless to stop it but you just can't look away. It is at least comforting to know that someone else has a life even more screwed up than mine.

Think I'll go count my blessings now.

Simple Joys: Watching My Children Play

Much of the time, my boys don't so much play together as much as they try to kill each other. I'm told this is a phase they will eventually grow out of. Here's hoping they live that long.

But last night - last night was one of those rare, almost magical nights where they actually did play together. And it was a thing of beauty to behold.

My mom cooked dinner - roast beef with all the trimmings - one of my favorites. She knew I've been sick and would not feel like cooking so she called us up and invited us over. Thanks mom. (You're one of those blessings I will be counting.) And everyone actually cleaned their plates without too much of a fight. Yea!!

After dinner, I went outside to smoke and I sat on Mom's front porch and watched the kids run up and down the sidewalk. It was such a lovely evening. It was cold (it actually snowed here yesterday, but I've decided it doesn't count since it didn't stick) but the clouds had cleared off a little and the wind had stopped. It was so still I could hear the cheering from the softball field by Taco John's (mom's house is right next to the high school).

And they weren't fighting over toys, or bikes, or who goes first or who won the race....they just raced. From our driveway down the block to the black bench and back. From the end of the driveway up to the front step and back. From the driveway around to the garage and back. Ethan had a little trouble because he was wearing his cowboy boots so Bryson slowed down a little and actually let his little brother win a couple of times.

Wow. I'm speechless.

And when we got home, everyone went to bed without too much of an argument.

Again, speechless.


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