Stupid Warning Labels

Common sense has apparently become exceedingly uncommon. This fact is made clear by number of insanely obvious warning labels on EVERYTHING.

Common sense tells me that if I order coffee, it's probably gonna be hot. And, also, if I get a Slush Puppy, it's gonna be cold. And yet, there are apparently people in the world for whom these are not obvious facts and so the words are printed on the cups.

WARNING: CONTENTS MAY BE HOT!! No! REALLY?

and

WARNING: CONTENTS MAY BE COLD. Ya THINK?!

I even found one on my cat litter. Well, not so much a warning as an assurance, but still, seemingly, painfully obvious.

THIS PRODUCT IS SAFE TO USE AROUND PETS. No kidding!

I heard a little tid-bit on the morning news the other day that got me thinking on this subject. Apparently there is a question out there as to whether or not there should be warning labels on cell phones stating that texting while driving may be hazardous to your health and the health of others. AND, apparently we also need to have a discussion about whether or not it is inappropriate for train engineers to be texting while driving the bleeping train.

Are you kidding me? We really need to DISCUSS that? Let me answer that for you. YES. IT IS ENTIRELY INAPPROPRIATE. Never mind dangerous and stupid and negligent and about a thousand other things I could list.

Naturally, I had to know more so I Googled "stupid warning label." Here are some pearls of obvious wisdom that I found especially entertaining.

Bayer Aspirin: Do not take if you are allergic to aspirin.

Sleeping Pills: May cause drowsiness.

Midol (you know, the "special pills" for GIRLS): Do not take this product, unless directed by a doctor, if you have difficulty urinating due to enlargement of the PROSTATE GLAND (only boys have those, just so you know.)

On a jig-saw puzzle: Some assembly required.

Hair Dye: Do not use as an ice cream topping. (WTF?)

Lawnmower: Do not attempt to remove blade while mower is running.

Chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with hands or genitals.

Pudding: Will be hot after heating.

Frozen Pizza: While cooking, place crust side down.

Deodorant: Use on underarms only.

At McDonald's: Parking for drive-thru customers only.

There were way too many to list them all. Here's the link if you would need a good laugh.

http://www.dumbwarnings.com/

Like I said, common sense is shockingly, exceedingly, woefully in short supply.